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Mommy's weight loss journal!

Ok, first let me say that I didn't just start working out today, I have been going through alot of up and down workout moments over the past year with no weight loss to show for it, so I finally decided to join a gym to see if it will make a difference.

I am 39yrs old and I suffer from Fibromyalgia and bladder problems, so I am also on medications I take daily. These medications have side affects like swelling of the hands, feet and legs and weight gain. So, when you want to lose weight taking a medication with side affects that cause weight gain doesn't seem to help my cause.

I am a work at home mom and so being home, working from home and not having a very active life style I have been putting on the weight over the years. But my husband still lives a very active life and he goes off each weekend fishing or on fishing trips and I am home with my 7 yrs old daughter most of the time and due to our current financial status I have chosen not to go do alot of extra activities to try and save money to pay the bills.  It sucks ladies but it is true you have kids and many men forget that they have wives that still need them to spend time with them as it is in my household. Between lack of getting out and depression from being alone so much, for so many years, I have gained weight and haven't been able to lose weight.

So, I finally decided to do something for myself and joined a gym and I have been working out for 2 weeks now and so far no weight loss but I don't expect to much right away, but honestly it feels frustrating that I can work out 4 days a week and not even lose 1 lb in 2 weeks I just don't get it but who knows I will keep going to the gym as I enjoy the opportunity to get out and see other adults without my kids.

I know that might sound bad but I am with my daughter more than I am around any other adults and so it kind of makes me crazy at times as I need other adult interaction. Yes, I love my baby girl but momma needs her sanity and I need to get out the playground and get back to the gym with other adults, if you know what I mean.

Ok, so I have been working out for two weeks now, I do different things to make sure i am keeping it interesting, I use the treadmill for 20 minutes at a time, then I also use the bike for 20 min and then use the weights, and will go through different sets of the weights.  Then at least 2 days a week I take water aerobics classes and then also do either the bike or treadmill for 20 minutes and some weights. So, I generally workout for about 1.5 hours to 2 hours each time I go to the gym and I go 3-4 days a week so far.

I decided I will write about my gym experience and also about if i lose any weight or not, so that maybe someone else will share there trials and tribulations of trying to lose the pounds. Or maybe I will do really awesome and lose the 30lbs I am trying to lose and be able to inspire or help another mom who is struggling as I have for so long to lose that dreadful weight, that seems to never go any where.

I worked out Monday, Weds, today and Friday I will be taking my second water aerobics class this week. I love the water aerobics at first I thought really how much can you really get out of it but it is a really good workout and you are working your entire body throughout the class, not just arms or just legs you are truely working the entire body and I really enjoy the classes so I will make the effort to not miss my scheduled classes each week.

Ok, ladies my starting weight ..yes, I am going to actually tell my true weight even though I know we should never disclose our weight I am starting at 173 lbs and so each week I will update my progress and what I am doing to lose the weight and inches.  Due to me working out with weights each day there will be some muscle weight gain so I am taking that into consideration. Also, I am eating a healthy diet and watching what I eat, how much I eat and making sure to eat more often throughout the day instead of just doing the 3 bigs meals, breaking it down to 3 smaller meals and 2 healthy snacks in between meals...This is my first update, so its longer the rest will probably be shorter, so see you on the next entry..

Case of mistaken identity or having the same name !

What a Friday we had in our family ! I went to the gym to workout and upon arrival at my home, I received a phone call from my husbands niece. She asked me, "what I was doing", so I told her "I was at the gym" and then she says where is her uncle at, so, I told her he is working. All of a sudden she says, "her aunt is calling everyone saying that my husband was on the news, that he was arrested for child pornography".

Ok, well first of all if that had happened I think there would be police all over my home, taking my computers and searching my home and I think I would have been told he was arrested. But on the news they said a former police officer with the same name as my husband had been arrested on child pornography charges.  I called my husband to tell him and he said he had already received some 15 to 20 phone calls from friends, co-workers, family members, past classmates as far back as high school calling. 

So, I tried to watch the news and see who they were talking about but there was no mention during the lunch time news.  As the day went on my husband received more and more calls asking what was going on from everyone. I made a point to watch the 6pm news and found out that when the story broke earlier that morning, they had no picture of the person they were talking about, so the news was just reporting his name and that he was a former police officer. Well, it was strange that my husband had the same first and last name even though the last name was spelled differently was also a former police officer. 

I was glad to see at 6pm they finally had a picture of the person in question, so that people would stop thinking that my husband had been arrested on such a terrible charge, my husband is black and the man arrested was white and he had worked for 4 different police stations and my husband had only worked at 2 locations. Its a terrible thing to have your name thrown out there on such a terrible thing and there be no photograph posted to show whom they are speaking of and to just have tons of people every where assume its you. I mean his own aunt started calling the entire family saying he was arrested for child pornography before she ever even called our home to see if it was true. She just saw a name and heard it was a former police officer and she just assumed it was her own nephew.

It is sad that the media reports things without first having some type of picture to show whom they are talking about as my husband has a very common name and so I am sure there are plenty other men out there with the same name, not sure if they happen to also be former police officers or not but to put a name out there involved in such a terrible charge without a photo is awful. 

This could affect a person in so many ways, he is a high level executive with a firm here in Atlanta, and a husband, a father to 2 girls, a neighbor, etc...I just am glad that it only took 8hrs for them to acquire a photo to post on television and it didn't take longer as by the end of the day my husband had received numerous calls and he had also, made several calls to authorities to find out who they were talking about and called other police officers he once worked with and called the chief of police at a former police dept. just trying to figure out who it was that shared his same name. No one knew who it was as everyone else did they thought it might had been my husband but they said they just couldn't imagine that.  My husband couldn't figure out how so many people could have thought it was him until we found out there was no picture of whom they were speaking of posted until the end of the day when the 6pm news ran and they stated they had just been emailed a photo of the former police officer.

I am just glad that it didn't drag out any longer than it did, 8hrs of people thinking you committed a terrible act is 8hrs to long..to have your name associated with such a terrible act is devastating and so I am just glad it is over but there is cases of real mistaken identity that happen all the time and the wrong person is subjected to punishment or blame when they shouldn't be.

There was on that same Friday a man who was just released from jail after sitting in jail for 12 days on mistaken identity, he was 20 years older than the man they had a warrant out for and was pulled over for a vehicle violation when he was taken to jail for a warrant. The man for 12 days kept telling them he wasn't who they were looking for and he sat there for 12 days wondering if they were ever going to figure it out and let him out of jail.

Some how they did figure it out that the person who was wanted for the warrant was 20 yrs younger and was already sitting in that same jail under another charge and this other man, a business man was wrongly held for someone not doing their job, he didn't look like the person they had the warrant for, he was 20 yrs older than the other person, they shared the same name but not the same social security or anything else for that matter, it is a terrible thing to have happen to a person. 

Personally, I could not imagine having someone mistake me a wife, a mommy for committing any type of crime not even for 5 minutes, muchless 8 hrs or 12 days or any length of time..I just have to hope that everyone who thought it was my husband has since seen the news with the picture posted of the actual person charged so that this rumor is halted right away and doesn't drag on, as the calls have stopped coming in I have to assume people finally figured it out..Thank god!

Taylor's big day on stage, THE BUGZ !!

Well, my daughter Taylor had her big day on stage last night, in the school play "The Bugz" and it was great.  Taylor has been practicing for weeks for the play and even got to perform the play for the entire school the day before it was time for the parents to see the play and she knew her words, and everyone elses as well.  It was great to see all the kids up there performing and she had several little skits or parts where she performed with other children and so it was reall cute.

What I didn't realize was that most all if not all the children at some point during the play, would step up to a microphone at the edge of the stage and have to speak alone. So, when I saw her coming to the microphone I was all excited and scared for her as well, because I am a terrible public speaker. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth and only 1-2 words came out and she froze. It took her a few seconds and then she said her line but she was so devastated at messing up she just frowned and sunk in, she was so excited to do the play and she was so excited to do her part and when she messed up she just was crushed emotionally and physically in her body.

As her mom, I felt just awful for her and i watched her go back to her next place on stage and I saw it in her face that she just was so unhappy with herself. Her face was welling up with tears, I saw her chin quiver and I almost began to cry for her. It devasting to see your child hurt and see how disappointed she was in herself, so I just put a big smile on and kept looking at her trying to let her know its ok. Eventually, there was a silly boy off in the audience dancing around and being silly and she saw him and it made her smile and she was ok again.

As soon as it was all over and we got to see her, she was like "i messed up the program", but her dad and I just gave her a big hug and told her she was great and that she forgot her words but she recovered ok and that it was no big deal.  Well, she said it in the car, she said it at home and before she went to bed, how she messed up and so it was important for us to reassure her she did just fine because we want her to know its ok to mess up from time to time, it that you get back out there and try again..to my baby girl Taylor..mommy was never prouder than I was last night, watching you on that stage and we love you so much!

Blogging on YouTube!

Weekend visitors! Yikes!

 Last night my husband informed me that we will be having company this coming weekend. First, he says he invited his brother to come over Friday, then he says his brother and his brothers family are coming Friday. So, I asked "Friday what are we doing Friday?' and he tells me they are coming to spend the night and that is his brother, his wife and 2 babies. 

So, I am thinking great I have to do a big dinner and clean and then breakfast, but then he adds in that he and his brother are going fishing on Saturday, so I am wondering what about his wife and kids? So, he tells me " that they will be spending the day with me".  All of a sudden I am like, " I won't be here Saturday, I have things to do".  I know that makes me seem terrible but I am one of those moms who gets stressed out by my own child and she is 7yrs old, and to now have to entertain his brothers family the entire weekend which is his wife that I just recently met and then 2 small babies, I am thinking I am going to be really stressed out.. 

Don't get me wrong I love kids, but mostly my own and not so much other peoples, especially when they only eat, cry and poop..So, my husband asked me what I am going to be doing and I had no real plans so I answered, " I don't know yet, but I will find something to do before the weekend", and we both just fell out laughing. Yeah, I will do the entertaining thing this weekend like a good girl and cry about it later, since my husband has already invited them for the weekend without telling.

I am glad he is spending time with his brother, but when he is here in my house it is like I have two husbands, they are both calling on me to do something, so I am not looking forward to the coming weekend. It is supposed to be beautiful weather but I will be stuck in the house with someone I barely know and 2 babies, along with my 3 dogs and my 7yr old daughter, while my husband and his brother are up on the lake fishing. I know I sound like terrible person, but really I'm not just an easily stressed person, so I do my best to avoid stress as I have Fibromyalgia and stress just makes it much worse..So, don't hate me for speaking what I really feel, I am just being honest..

Fibromyalgia and how it affects my family !

I suffer with Fibromyalgia which is a nervous system disorder which means my body's nerves send out the wrong signal's causing me to feel pain when I shouldn't or for simple things to feel really intense. I am not sure what started it all but it is generally brought on by some sort of trauma. So,I never had any problems with my legs, back, knees, well let's just say my joints and or feeling intense pain when someone just lightly touched me or other issues that also developed, until I had my daughter 7 years ago.

It all started when I had my daughter and I had to have an emergency C-section which ended up in my uterus being ruptured, where it all began with severe edema in my legs and over the years it just got worse and worse.  It seems each year something new starts to happen and it one goes back to being connected to Fibromyalgia and so now I suffer with severall health issues which I feel are impacting me as a mom and a wife.  I feel exhausted much of the time for no apparent reason and I developed concentration and memory loss issues and with that I think it's caused me to become less patient  with my kids & husband and quicker to snap at my daughter, it leaves me feeling like I am failing my daughter at times.

When she was smaller we were so close and I was so happy to be mommy and now I am short on patience and just feel like my illness is impacting the type of mom I am now.  I even try telling myself that, "today I am not going to yell or get upset" and as soon as my daughter starts talking, I can't seem to control it . I am not the same nice mommy I once was, now I feel like I am not speaking to my daughter in the tone of voice I used to, now I am more negative than positive and I want to stop it now, before we end up with a bad relationship as she gets older.

If anyone else out there also suffers with Fibromyalgia and understands what I am going through, I wouldn't mind some advice or to see how your lives are affected, please feel free to comment.

I hope you won't judge me to harshly as I am trying to work with my doctors trying to correct alot of my problems and talking to them about everything I am going through, as its not just my relationship with my daughter that is affected but also with my husband as he doesn't really understand it and so he isn't always very supportive. But I do my best at communicating all that I suffer with and what's happening with me, as sometimes I am seeing 3-4 different doctors for different problems and I am also on several medications trying to retrain my nerves to send the correct signals out and to also treat other ailments.  Sometimes I think its my medications that make me have less patience but really I think that is taking the easy way out and I want to hold myself accountable and not lay the blame on anyone or anything else.

Private school, public school, or home schooling!

Ok, my daughter has always attended private school, but as we all are aware the economy has hit everyone hard and it has also hit my family.  We own a home inspection and appraisal company so, go figure why we have no business. 

Well, I have been battling between trying to keep my daughter in her current school for next year or changing her to a public school or even thought of home schooling...What did I just say? "home schooling", honestly I think I would go crazy.  I am not the easy going laid back mom that I wish I were, instead I am one of those stressed out moms, whom tends to get freaked out at times as my daughter rambles on and on and on and on for ever, and I hate to say it but it makes me want to pull my hair out at times! 

Don't get me wrong I love my little baby but she loves to talk, talk, talk and has a millions questions and so sometimes all that stress's me out a bit..So, I have considered public school but I am not happy with the school in our area and so I am up in the air over what I should do fo next year..

I have been just going back and forth trying to figure it all out, as we love the school she currently attends and would love for her to stay there but it all depends on our finances!  I am open to others mom's opinions on your different experiences with home schooling and public school, so let me know what you think and how it has worked for your family!

Welcome to Atlmoms...Join me for my 1st blog..

I decided to begin a blog so that I can get advice, offer advice and support other women out there like me, who sometimes just needs a little extra help.

As we all know, sometimes we have things going on in our lives that we don't even want to share with our closest friend's, due to embarrassment or shame or whatever may be the cause, we need to talk to someone but just not those around us.

So, I welcome you to join in on my blogs and add your thoughts and if you want to also write on my blog just email me and I might be able to add you as an author to write your own parenting experiences!